Mario's Thoughts On Today, A Song, & Spoken Wordings

Spoken:
What am I to believe, when I am yoked, awareness in one bucket, and grief in the other.
Blind trudging.

Spoken:
Try to woo me.
The sun cascades.
Fiberglass shapes into hope.
You begin to pull the weight from me.
Tickles and prickles, this wet form and mass, so premature, when I hold it, I blanch.
I don't feel a lot of good, but it does feel a lot familiar.

Song:

Amour At Home

I won't make believe your love,
I make believe when it happens,
I hold my feet to the earth,
And open my heart to things above

I've got my reasons to stay inside,
I wait to hear your footsteps by the door,
Oceans of noise inside me makes me want to roar
My head tells me you tried, I tried, you tried, I tried!

Chorus
Oh do we go again where do we go? (Oh no/ Where/ Oh where)
When will you find my door? (Place to wait/ When)
Oh do we try some more?
I'll pretend to sleep,
If you break the locks
And make it by this morning!

The fridge is empty,
I'm starving for you,
The outside tempts me,
I want to make a breakthrough
But waiting seems to be all right
As long as I have you back in my sight!!!

Uh oh! Uh oh! Oh! Oh! Oh Oooh!

Chorus
Oh do we go again where do we go? (Oh no/ Where/ Oh where)
When will you find my door? (Place to wait/ When)
Oh do we try some more?
I'll lie awake in bed
While you try to break the locks
And make it by this morning!

And make it by this morning....now!

(Said rapidly)
Now! (x3)
When will you come
When will you stay
Oh yeah,
It's me!

End

I can't seem to find a resting place for me to be, totally, in comfort.

Activist work takes so much energy out of me!
But I just have to do it.
Who will do the work?
I've been so comfortable being an assist to anything I've cared about.

I get so tired, I have one body, not two. At the end of the day, when I have to look at everything I've done, consider my actions, I know that I've gotten closer to myself.

But closer to me seems so far away from everybody else.

Maybe these separations are from a divine source. It's come to my mind that ever since I have stopped attending church altogether, I've been missing a lot of time with my family.

Samoan Church + Gay = Nope.

I'm as connected to my spirituality as I was before, but I'm now more cautious about my beliefs and I question everything, put into context what I've learn, sometimes relearn.

Sherry Wolf put her hand on my shoulder today and said, "Oh Mario, just you wait."
Almost too my arm off.


I love the taste of brown sugar beef jerky.

I think I love my Play Analysis class.